Ultimately, Choose Your Hard
This week reminded me of something I’ve been learning for a long time.
Every path has a cost.
We don’t get to choose whether life will be hard.
We get to choose which hard we’re willing to live with.
This week was filled with truth.
Truth uncovered in therapy.
Truth found in recovery.
Truth in relationships.
Truth on long runs.
Truth in quiet mornings with God.
None of it was easy.
But every bit of it was worth it.
Because healing has taught me something I never understood before:
The hard things aren’t always the things that hurt us. Sometimes they’re the very things that heal us.
Last weekend, while driving to spend time with some truly wonderful people, I hit a deer. The accident flared up an old whiplash injury on my left side.
I didn’t get to choose that.
But I did get to choose my response.
Instead of pretending I was fine, I made an appointment with a massage therapist who knows my body, knows my old injuries, and knows exactly where I carry tension. I chose to listen to what my body was telling me instead of ignoring it.
As I reflected on everything that happened, one thought kept coming back to me:
I believe God saved me.
Things could have been so much worse.
Instead of focusing on what could have happened, I found myself overwhelmed with gratitude for what didn’t.
There was another moment that stayed with me this week.
I sat quietly in a rocking chair, listening to a song that seemed to meet me exactly where I was. For a few minutes, I wasn’t trying to fix anything. I wasn’t planning tomorrow. I wasn’t carrying everyone else’s burdens.
I was simply present.
I’ve learned that healing isn’t always found in doing more.
Sometimes it’s found in stillness.
This week I also ran the fastest eight miles of my entire life. At 37 years old, I accomplished something I’ve never done before.
Ironically, it came just one week after a 20-mile run humbled me.
That run reminded me that strength isn’t always about pushing harder. Sometimes strength is having enough humility to slow down, adjust, and actually listen to your body instead of fighting it.
This morning, after coaching an early morning client, I found myself back on the treadmill.
But before any of that, I spent time with God in prayer and meditation. And ☕️
That has become the foundation of my mornings.
Years ago, I would’ve looked at those moments as obligations.
Today, I see them as gifts.
I get to move my body.
I get to coach people.
I get to recover. (864 days without any mind altering substance in my system, one day at a time)
I get to grow.
I get another day.
That simple shift—from have to to get to—has changed my life.
I’ve realized there is almost always a solution.
Not always an easy one.
Not always the one we’d choose if comfort were the goal.
But there is almost always a path forward.
There’s another truth I’ve been thinking about this week.
Social media has a funny way of making people believe they know someone’s life.
But here’s what I’ve learned:
Social media has never defined my family.
Honestly, social media has become less and less of a reflection of my life because I’m spending less and less time on it.
Healing has a way of doing that.
The more I’ve recovered, the more I’ve fallen in love with real conversations instead of posts.
Long runs instead of scrolling.
Quiet mornings with God instead of notifications.
Therapy instead of pretending.
Time with my kids instead of my phone.
Being fully present with the people in front of me instead of worrying about documenting the moment.
Ironically, some of the healthiest moments of my life have never made it online.
Maybe that’s because healing has a way of humbling you.
It reminds you that the life you’re building is far more important than the image you’re projecting.
Life asks every one of us to choose our hard.
Ignoring your health is hard.
Taking care of it is hard.
Avoiding difficult conversations is hard.
Having them is hard.
Living in unhealthy patterns is hard.
Breaking them is hard.
Recovery is hard.
Active addiction is hard.
Discipline is hard.
Regret over missed opportunities is hard.
Every path costs something.
The question isn’t whether life will be difficult.
The question is: Which hard is helping you become the person God created you to be?
Success isn’t one big decision.
It’s built in hundreds of quiet choices no one else sees.
Choosing honesty.
Choosing therapy.
Choosing prayer.
Choosing movement.
Choosing to listen to your body.
Choosing to ask for help.
Choosing recovery.
Choosing to be present.
Choosing to tell yourself the truth.
Choosing to begin again.
Those choices don’t always make today easier.
But they shape who you become tomorrow.
Ultimately, we all choose our hard.
My hope is that I keep choosing the hard that brings me closer to God, closer to the people I love, and closer to the woman He is shaping me to be.
Because the hard things haven’t been what defined my life.
The choices I made in the middle of them have.
Ultimately, choose your hard. ❤️
















