There’s no perfect explanation or anything to explain how I’ve felt since losing our baby boy in December. I’ve had a whirlwind of emotions and physical and mental barriers since my miscarriage. The healing process has been real, meaning, some days are harder than others. My heart still hurts, I still cry, I don’t want to understand why but I’ve decided that I have to accept that the pain of losing a baby will never completely go away. Time heals. It really does. I’m just here to say that each and every woman who has gone through this trauma, there’s no way to completely move forward one way. It has to be on your terms and how you feel and making the best of your journey. I got my first menstrual cycle back on January 30 after my miscarriage. I was at first relieved, but then into the next week, I started to feel an overload of emotions again. BUT I can say through all of this, in the beginning I began trying to just push through the anxiousness and sadness until Travis suggested taking CBD oil (because I was really considering medication but didn’t want to at all) so right before Christmas into January I took CBD daily. I stopped taking it at the beginning of January and that’s what made me realize how much it was actually helping me so I began taking it again and I haven’t stopped. The anxious mind eases. The fact that it’s natural has made me so much more willing to take it. I’m someone who doesn’t like to take ibuprofen or anything for cramps, headaches. So, this seemed like the best choice because I was really struggling. My head/heart feel much happier on the daily supplements of CBD. I also have implemented in CBG some days as well, it just depends on the day if I need to take a 1/2 dropper of each or just a 1/2 dropper of CBD or CBG. If you’d like information on the brand I’ve been using, just touch base. We do offer sample sizes of it as well!
My workouts have been necessary and just what I need to continue feeling stronger daily. Also, eating whole food, meats and veggies have been my best choices again, too. Getting an appetite back was a process but it happened. Sometimes I was having two or three shakes a day because that’s all I could handle.
My physical presence has taken me on a journey because I tend to be hard on myself. But in the past month, I’ve learned to embrace again and in my mind that’s part of the healing process.
I’ve been doing weekly cleanup sessions to release muscle tensions! I’ve been doing it with Trevor(one of the trainers at TM Fitness) because Travis and I can’t train together seriously! 🤣🤣 And that makes a world of difference in my movements and just feeling better functionally.
After everything we went through I decided to start picking up the phone and calling people instead of always texting. My best friend and I have talked on the phone so much more since my miscarriage and it makes me happy, we used to just write novels to each other and then not text for a couple days because we got busy and picking up the phone has proven to be much better! My heart is feeling so much better with communication. Leaning on others to talk and vent has proven to heal me even more. Spending alone time with Travis has also been part of the healing so we can process this together. With the three kiddos I always want to make sure we are taking TIME for ourselves and our relationship along with the time for each of them and us as a whole family.
I’m here to say. We’ve got this! We can move forward. Don’t dwell on the past, look forward to the future. Be your best version while still enjoying the balance of life.
Thank you all for following along!
melodiealexander 