It’s been a while. But I’m here to say hello and just take you through a small piece of what these past almost five months have been like.
If there’s anything I’ve taken out of all of this, it’s to depend on people and take the help when you need it or you’ll fail. Continue to take care of yourself because stress and anxiety only worsens with poor nutrition and lack of workouts. Trust me, I had my moments.
I spent 6 weeks down in Ann Arbor before I came home once. I started a routine where I slept at the hospital, I took turns in each boys room each night. I woke up, went and got coffee, I would take a little walk downtown and then go back to the hospital to get ready for the day and wait for the doctors to round. Week 2, I started going and walking on the treadmill at a gym for a change of pace. I continued to do that routine daily and it seemed to be working. I was blocking out the fact that I was missing everyone from home. Catching up with them after days became chaotic because they were trying to do their nightly routines and I wasn’t present to help.
I finally came home and it felt so good. It was hard to be away but I felt like me again.
Fast forward through all the trips to Ann Arbor and the moments we spent with the boys and the moments we’ve been able to spend together have been amazing. Getting the news that Tripp would be coming home was such a happy moment. Getting the boys together for the first time in what seemed like forever was amazing. I’ve felt such happiness being with those boys even if the circumstances aren’t what I imagined. I have a lot of matching outfits that they haven’t worn and will never wear together but I’ve come to realize no matter what, these two little boys are fighters and we are SO excited to bring Tanner home when he is ready. Until then we continue to lean on family and friends to help us with the care of the others while we have to be away.
Goal PHASE! End of December is always when I begin to start putting heavy goals on myself. I didn’t have strong goals this year until Tripp came home. It was weird, I was just going through motions and didn’t even realize it. I was present but taking Tripp home and him meeting the others was what my heart needed. And I know when Tanner is home, I’ll be even better but for now I’m taking the victory. So far, I’ve started running a couple times a week with goals. We WILL be running Grandma’s Marathon in June even if we have to drive there the night before and come back the day of after we run. Life is tough and these moments have challenged me in more ways I ever thought possible but we’re achieving goals and moving forward in more ways than one. If I can say anything about anything is, it’s all in your mindset, be as positive as you can. I can’t stress that enough. Take care of yourself, it’s the only way you’ll be able to be positive through whatever you’re going though.
If it doesn’t challenge you, it doesn’t change you. My famous line. I’m living it and I’m doing great. You can reach for your goals and achieve them too!
I could probably go on for years but I’m going to leave it at that for now but just know I’m always here to help with guidance and support and be a motivator. I’m still training, again, I’m able to be doing that because I have the support of family and friends.
Thanks for following along! I intend to be more consistent again with writing. I’ve definitely still written through this process but I was never quite ready to share.
melodiealexander 