This blog post has taken me a while to post//Real life//It’s okay to feel//

I have been getting so many messages about how I’m doing and I truly appreciate that and so I’ve also been trying to reach out to people as well and of course when people reach out to me I always ask how they are doing as well. The first part of this quarantine was pretty good. The next phase has been very different and I feel like sometimes I don’t even know who I am or what I should be doing from day to day but what helps me every day are my kids and Travis. We are healthy, we are happy for the most part as I’m sure everyone feels, we all have our moments. I do not want to get political but I feel like the risk of spreading this is minimal in comparison to what the mental challenges and minimized human interaction we’re facing.

I still count calories (for the most part)and I always do but I feel like that has had no direct effect right now on as far as how I feel or how I look right now. I always have a vision of what I want to achieve and look like through each season and goals but I just feel like there’s been so much stress and anxiety built up that all we can do is do our best! I feel pretty good but not at my best but I know once we can be out and about again, things will change! I am missing those hot days already as these last couple days have been kind of cold! But of course today is HOT AND HUMID! We have to love the unpredictability of the UP weather!

Mallorie’s learning app has been a challenge and one day she actually told me that she wishes I would just take her iPad away so she didn’t have to do her learning app anymore. I do notice though, once she is willing to do assignments, she doesn’t want to stop, it’s just getting her to start. The challenging part can be when I’m trying to do it with her and the other two need me or Tucker wants to sit with us and then he is banging his fingers on her iPad! She did a zoom call with her class once and she looked over at me the entire time and she was asking me with her eyes to just shut it off. She’s had two zoom calls since then and she gets super anxious and says “please, mom just don’t make me do it” and she cries. Am I supposed to make her do it? No, I don’t think so, so I don’t.

Anyways, I don’t want this to be a blog post about complaining as I’m always positive but I think through all this I’ve learned that I NEED to be out and about, I need to have contact with other adults, I need to just be able to take my kids out and about(even if 99% of the time I struggle with keeping them in line but that’s part of the process) I need to workout somewhere else besides home because it’s just not the same! THIS TOO SHALL PASS! That’s what I keep telling myself…..there is so much to be thankful for but I am more than ready to feel free again. How is everyone doing?

Also, running. I miss having the excitement to train when there’s a race coming up. I feel like I’ve been off my game with that but I’ve at least ran once a week but not the distances I would be running with the marathon coming up in June. This all just seems so unfair! But lets hope for a HUGE fall of races or 2021 will be on point.

As always, thanks for following along and you all are SO appreciated!

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